Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
