like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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