oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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