One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
