i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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