Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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