So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
