ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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