Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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