I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
