btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
