You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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