How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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