You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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