i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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