Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
