Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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