Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
