Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
