Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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