They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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