Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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