loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize