the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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