it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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