Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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