i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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