it hurts more in the daytime
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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