I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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