are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
