real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
