Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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