Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
