In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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