@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
