I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
