"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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