I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
