so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
