Duck Duck Cougar?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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