I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
