GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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