arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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