We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
