im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
