I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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