i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
