is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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