if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
