New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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