Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
