I puked a lego.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
