Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
