Pappa wants mamma naked
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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