please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
