I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
