im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
