sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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