Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
