I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
