FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
