your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
