Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's shark week go big or go home
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