Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
