Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
