the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
