I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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