i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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